You do important work.

You make the world a better place with your creative mind.

You take something and make it better.

You know what the world needs before the world even knows it.

Often you create things that never existed before. You give them life, you give them meaning.

You take responsibility and think deeply about your designs— any unintended consequences of the work is acknowledged alongside its value to the world.

Does your work feed your soul?

Look at this closely.

Seeing beyond the material comforts your work provides you in the physical world, does your work matter to you? Does it feed your soul?

Time is your most precious commodity. Do you want to spend your time doing this work?

If the answer is yes…

Commit to your work wholeheartedly with a focus on staying in alignment with yourself and keeping your work-life balance in perspective.

Keep in mind, you, your work and how you spend your time IS your life.

If no, then what does matter to you?

Do you know?

If you know what matters to you, pursue it now.

Don’t hesitate to move ahead in this direction. The path will open up for you if you point yourself in the right direction.

If you don’t know… this is your work to do.

Discover what it is.

Follow your curiosities.

Ask for help.

Do it now.

I asked for help. My work was no longer feeding my soul. (I remember using the phrase “soul crushing.”) So I found a coach (who was a designer too!) She helped me gain insights and find a better path for myself.

“I don’t know what I think until I write it down.”

• Joan Didion

I love this quote.

It’s true. Until you write it down, you don’t know what you think.

I’ve been writing and journaling off-and-on all of my life. In my pre-teens I started writing in a small, brightly colored diary with a gold lock. Man, I wish I had those diaries!  I imagine pages filled with daily happenings, memories, and dreams of my future.

As an adult (and an aspiring writer!), I practiced keeping “morning pages” inspired by Julia Cameron and her bestselling book, “The Artist’s Way.” Letting all of my thoughts spill out on the page, without a concern whether they were any good, was liberating. A complete brain dump.

The thought download

Over the past two years, I’ve gotten more serious about journaling. I write nearly every day. I practice what Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School calls a “thought download.” Writing down all the thoughts swirling in my head, without censoring or judging myself. On any given day, there are typically multiple thoughts looping around inside my brain.

The practice of writing down all your thoughts is the first step. It will build awareness.

This allows you to see a thought for what it is. Many of our thoughts are stories we tell ourselves and are made up in our heads. And these thoughts and beliefs determine our feelings and emotional life.

I notice how many of the stories in my head are causing a feeling of anxiety for me. And I’m discovering how many of my thoughts are simply not true.

You will build awareness when you observe your thoughts and start seeing your thoughts as optional. You can choose what you think.

The importance of journaling

Until you write it down, you don’t know what you think, it’s true, and I’d add ” I don’t know what I feel until I write down my thoughts and I take a closer look.

In the New York Times article: “What’s All This About Journaling?,”James W. Pennebaker, a social psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, who is considered the pioneer of writing therapy says: “Labeling emotions and acknowledging traumatic events ” both natural outcomes of journaling” have a known positive effect on people.”

Writing down your thoughts and identifying your emotions takes practice. We often disconnect from our feelings and may not be aware of what’s going on for us. Shining a light on your thoughts and beliefs, through the act of journaling, can lead to change.

Making change in your life, acquiring new insights and ways of thinking requires taking a closer look at yourself.

Stay curious about your thoughts. Be compassionate and don’t judge or censor yourself.

My favorite notebook

I went on the hunt for the perfect notebook and I found one I love. It’s more notebook than journal or diary, but you can buy filler pages separately and move pages around, which I find really useful! It’s also spiral bound which, since I’m left-handed, is a must. (And the notebooks are from a company who supports “Going Green” and is located in my hometown state of Wisconsin. Woot-woot!)

Myndology
https://myndology.com/

Now get writing!

Let’s work together on building your awareness of what’s going on for you. Schedule a mini session with me to talk over working together.

Talk to you soon!

Right now, I find myself justifying my right to be unhappy. Whaaat?

In one of his podcasts, the late, great Dr. Wayne Dyer said something like, (and I’m paraphrasing):

“Don’t fight for your suffering.”

What he meant by this is you have the choice to be happy, so don’t argue for your right to suffer and be miserable. It seems we do this much of the time!

I can choose to feel happy (or at the very least, neutral. Neither happy or unhappy, just neutral.)

When I don’t feel great on any particular day, it doesn’t mean anything. In fact, we all feel unhappy, uncomfortable, or anxious half of the time.

If life is uncomfortable and unhappy 50% of the time, how do we choose to live our lives?

Two choices. Which will you choose?

1. We can feel the discomfort of staying in “status quo,” by numbing ourselves, being miserable, and avoiding life in order to manage our unhappy and anxious thoughts.
2. Or, we can feel the discomfort and stay engaged, move forward, take action, put ourselves out there, and live our lives fully.

In the long run, there’s a big difference between these two choices.

Where we end up depends on the choices we make.

The first one will keep us disengaged, lonely, anxious, overwhelmed, and the worst of it create a habit that leads to feeling bad about the world and ourselves.

The second choice is an investment in ourselves and our future and will lead us to move forward and to grow. And to accept the fact we don’t need to feel happy all the time to live our lives!

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.“ Dr. Wayne Dyer

We’re letting ourselves down when we linger in the discomfort of numbing and avoiding our life.

But we have the choice of taking responsibility for our life and making a better choice that serves us.

Choose well.

This is a big question I know, and requires serious consideration. But I ask this question because it is at the heart of making changes in your life.

This was the question I had to answer for myself. I realized I needed to get to know myself better in order to answer hard questions.

Questions like these:

Is this how I want to spend the rest of my life? Is what I’m doing now in alignment with my life’s purpose? Am I going down the path that’s right for me? What do I need?

Basically, are you moving in the right direction?

How do you know?

Take a deep breath now. These are overwhelming questions. You may not know how to answer them. You may be avoiding these questions like I did.

For me, avoiding these questions resulted in becoming more and more confused, stressed, tired, resentful, defensive, and angry overall.

I started to stay up too late, overeat, drink too much, and became paralyzed by perfectionism and overwhelm. Yikes!

Do you want to make a difference?

Maybe all you know right now is that you want to to make a change ” to do things differently. To make the next phase of your life meaningful, to make it really count.

You want to show up for your life, be yourself, and make a difference. That’s how I felt too.

Too much of your time in the past was spent working towards goals and visions other people had for you. (Maybe you felt safe because the job only required what you already knew.) But you were never the focus of your own career!

Now you need your creative work to be for yourself in every sense of the word. You need to build something for you. Something where you can grow every day.

How can you make a change? That’s what I asked myself.

What if you chose to do something completely different, something more personal and meaningful to you? What would it be?

To change your future you need to take a big jump, take a leap of faith.

Do you need help?

If any part of this resonates with you, I get it. Up until recently, I felt this way myself. Let’s work together on moving towards what you really need in your life.

Do you feel defensive and angry all the time?

Do you wish people behaved differently?

Do you complain and blame others for ruining your day?

Say no to the “blame game”

Well, here’s something to consider: No one makes you think or feel a certain way.

I learned this:

I choose my thoughts and beliefs about myself and my life. I choose my own actions.

When we stop blaming others, we take responsibility for ourselves. This was a game-changer for me because, here’s the thing— I never saw myself as a victim.

Are you playing the blame game? Are you playing the victim? (It’s so eye-opening when you recognize it in yourself!)

Here’s the good news:

You are responsible. You have full control over yourself. You can take charge and change your thoughts and feelings.

Everyone can use a coach

Taking charge

When I needed to take a  closer look at how my thoughts and beliefs were affecting my life, I asked for help. I needed a fresh pair of eyes to help me see how to make choices that better served me.

Ask for help.

You don’t need to figure it out by yourself. You’re not alone.

If any part of this resonates with you, I get it. Up until recently I’ve felt this way myself. Let’s work together on moving towards thinking different. Schedule a time to talk with me now.

Be grateful for the abundance in your life and for the the world you’re creating for yourself.

Be thankful for art, design, knowledge, wisdom, kindness, people, places, animals, the things that inspire you. The world of what you value.

Some days, gratitude will come easily. You’ll feel you have so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to.

Other days it may be rough. You feel the world is out to get you, or you simply feel down.

Showing appreciation for what you have is most important when things are going less well.

Focus your energy on what is right when things are going wrong. Focus on what you want more of.

Finding joy

Find joy every step of your journey.

This journey you’re taking isn’t about anyone else and no one can take it for you.

Most people never start this journey, it takes courage. You’re doing it. Be proud of yourself.

Be grateful for the discomfort you feel. Be grateful for the lessons you learn everyday.

Your journey advances from the assistance of others. Be grateful to the people who have helped you along the way.

You may notice how people come out of nowhere to help you. When you’re on the right path, others notice.

Thank people who help you.

What are you grateful for?

Focus on gratitude. We get what we expect when we shift our energy to what is good in our lives.

Go find your gratitude.

Having big dreams is worth it. But here is something to be aware of:

Pursuing big dreams will put you in a state of discomfort.

Be prepared for your “primitive brain” to talk you out of it, to sabotage, to try to buffer, and throw everything else at you.

Here is your challenge: To remain courageous, confident, and move forward every day.

Beware of your “primitive brain”

Learn to overlook your mind’s excuses (or seemingly sensible reasons) for feeling overwhelmed, confused, tired, to procrastinate, or not knowing what to do.

These are all tactics your primitive brain uses to keep you in “status quo.” Your primitive brain will try to keep you where you are.

You’ll need to live with discomfort. You must learn to feel your feelings and let them pass. You must let go of all the day-to-day drama.

“Letting go” of drama and living with discomfort will be your golden rule.

I’ve written a few things regarding managing your mind as it relates to changing your life.

Here’s what to focus on:

• Let go of other people’s behaviors.
• Manage yourself. Take responsibility.
• Gain confidence (but first, act courageous!)
• Feel gratitude.

If any part of this resonates with you, I get it. Let’s work together on moving towards your big dreams.

Getting to know yourself is the most important goal in your life. You can live your best life when you know yourself better, and to know yourself, you need to observe yourself.

What are you thinking? What are you feeling?

It’s helpful to do a daily thought download and empty everything in your head by writing it down. (Writing in a daily journal works too!)

What’s going on in your head?

• I’m afraid
• I’m worried
• I’m procrastinating, again
• I don’t want to do it
• I want to eat or drink something
• I want to do nothing
• I want to hide
• I’m not good enough
• I’m a failure
• I’m confused
• I’m tired
• I want to spend the day watching Netflix

Practice watching yourself

Looking out for “false pleasures” such as:

Buffering. Overeating. Overdrinking. Overspending. Creating other “false pleasures” to feel better. Indulging yourself. playing the victim, feeling resentful, pitying yourself, feeling anger, lashing out. Beating yourself up. “I’m not enough, I’m giving up. I can’t have that. I’m a failure. I’m will punish myself by forcing myself to do this and power through.”

Start looking for your true self

Being with it. Reconnect to your true self by starting to:

Feel it. Be with it. Watch it. Don’t respond. Let it wash over you. Nothing to do or change. Reconnect with your center. Meditate. Relax. Be yourself. Nurture yourself. Do what you’re meant to do. What do you love? What inspires you?

Go back to your daily thought download (or your daily journal) for a closer look at your thoughts and feelings.

Without drama, and with deep compassion for yourself, take a closer look: What are you feeling most of the time? How do you deal with it? What can you change? What “just is”?

• What if you started to do things for yourself rather than for others?
• How can you create a better relationship with yourself and therefore create a better life?
• What are you holding on to that is getting in the way of your happiness?

Are you ready to ask for help? If any part of this resonates with you, I get it. I’ve struggled with these things too. Let’s work together on learning to understand yourself better.